The journey to the final performance was long and full of ups and downs; with idea’s springing from the most unexpected of places and unfortunate lulls which brought progress to a prolonged halt. But despite all the challenges, performance day arrived and the prospect of a six hour get in before my performance at 9pm. There was lots to prepare; technically my performance was overwhelming. I had a moving curtain, complicated projections, sounds, lighting and many props to set out. It was a huge challenge for me and my tech team and despite the long tech time, I was constantly worrying whether or not it would all be completed.

I didn’t have too many different lights, with the majority being rapid changes between bright colours and dull lighting to represent the changes between private and public self. The more complicated lighting came with the staggered slit lighting which created an eerie effect.

Through the use of black tabs, not only was my space blacked out but it allowed tiny spaces for these lights to be focused, meaning a slim beam of light could pass through. When I passed through these beams it created an interesting effect with shadowing on my face and then allowed me to disappear into the darkness. The colours I used in the space were fushia, purple and yellow creating a sweet, girly and happy atmosphere which contrasted greatly with the harsh and dim lighting of the rest of the piece. Another really important factor in my piece was the audience. I wanted the area in which they were to sit to be cosy, comforting and an accurate replica of my public self. The floor was covered with colourful throws and sparkly cushions. Rose petals, flowers and fairy lights covered the remaining floor space. I also played songs which reflected my taste in music, (Disney songs featured heavily) for my audience to listen to while they got settled into the space.

 (The performance, 20/5/2014)

The most stressful part of the lead up to the performance was the amalgamation of all the technical aspects into one cue sheet. I had wanted to have a run through with all the lights and projections to ensure everything was perfect before the performance. However with the techies taking longer than anticipated to program all the cues, problems which I had wanted to sort earlier in the day were left till the last minute meaning there was no time for a run through. Projections didn’t work as I had hoped and some video’s had to be cut moments before the show as they did not work being back projected. The words were backwards and I wasn’t prepared to let my audience attempt to read the backwards facing words. This all meant that the performance started later than planned. My stress levels were rising as I attempted to focus and go through my lines whilst the technical aspects were being changed and edited. Eventually it was time to step out and put on my performance face; smiling and talking to all my audience whilst attempting to hide the panic from moments before. To add more complications, one of the headphones which the audience needed in order to hear my performance stopped working. However after some help and headphone sharing the performance could begin. This was the first time I had been able to do a full run with all the technical aspects and the nerves were overwhelmingly high, but as I started my first speech I knew that no matter what I just had to keep focused and do my job while the tech crew did theirs.

Overall the show was a success, we managed to go from start to finish without any major faults and any which did occur were not noticeable by the audience. The only major flaw was a missing projection; after walking backwards through the slit lighting I was supposed to go and stand in front of  a projection of myself, allowing myself and the projected self to become one symbolising the feeling of becoming overcome. However the projection did not appear, I waited a few seconds to see if the projection would start but the moment never came. Although disappointed I stood where the projection should have been and carried on with the performance. Although not the effect I had hoped for, the act of me standing where the projection should have been was in a way rather symbolic of physically and mentally becoming the darker part of myself and no longer being the person I longed to be. My solo performance was over and despite the technical hiccups I couldn’t be prouder of how far I have come and the end product of all my hard work.